“The Church Family” Part #1 (Dealing with diffiuclt matters)
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-Open with Prayer:
Read the Text:
1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
In Scripture we see many different words that are associated with the church. In 1 Peter 2 verse 9 the church is called a holy nation. In Revelation the church is described as a kingdom. We also know that the church is the priesthood of all believers. Paul calls the church a temple in Ephesians chapter 2. The church is also called a body, assembly and a flock. However there is one description of the church that should stand out to us.
The Church is a Family!
19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,
15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Churches are intended to be a family, and a family of faith and we as members of this family have been called to get along. When we see members of our church family we are called to love them like brothers and sisters because that is exactly what they are. Here is a helpful verse to keep in mind when we are struggling with this.
35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
We should treat every part of the family with love and respect from the young to the old, from the rich to the poor, from black to white. If we are believers then we are part of this beautiful family of God.If we want to bear witness to the world around us and people who do not know the Lord then there should be a desire to maintain unity in the church by obeying God’s Word and treating others with love and respect. But like any family sometimes there are difficult matters that arise and families can often be messy. So exactly how do we deal with difficult things like discipline and sin when they come up?
Let me just say that we must deal with discipline issues when they come up. We cannot not and must not sweep this things under the rug as if they are not a big deal. This is a mark of a loving family. A loving father disciplines his children not because he is an angry mean father but because he loves his children and wants them to make wise god-honoring choices in this life. The same is true of a Christ centered church family.
Think with me for just a moment of all the difficult things Timothy was dealing with there in Ephesus among his own church family.
-He dealt with those who were abandoning their faith and even shipwrecking it all together.
-He was dealing with some women who were over stepping their roles when God had given them godly men to be their leaders.
-He was dealing with unqualified men and this is why we see the importance of setting up qualifications for elder and deacon.
-If this wasn’t enough then there were some who were teaching false doctrine and leading people away from the Lord.
My point in sharing these things is that there had to be discipline and godly instruction otherwise the family would just fall apart.
When it comes to discipline how are we to handle this? Turn with me to Matthew chapter 18. This is one of the most helpful texts on discipline in the church family.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
1. First, we need to confront sin without fear. Timothy’s job here in Ephesus was to not shy away from having difficult conversations and even discipling some of his members. Often times when we think about discipline it can be a fearful thing because we are worried about how people will respond. However we are to discipline in love.
2. The second area is to confront authoritatively. Titus 2:15
15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
3. Dealing with sin and discipline need to be done with patience and in love. With this we now turn to verse 1.
1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,
What we see here at the beginning of verse one is that we need to be careful here not to act out of anger or harshness. Often times discipline can come across as a violent thing as it appears as a rebuke. When someone confesses to us that they have done wrong we should not hit them hard over the head with angry or harsh words. “I can’t believe you would do this.” “You are such a loser.”
Paul uses the word here “To Encourage” To strengthen those who are weak and sinful.
1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
This should be our example. People need to be lovingly confronted, strengthened, restored with an attitude of love and gentleness. Now that we see the how to do this Paul now gives us 4 examples or 4 groups for dealing with sin in the family of God.
1. The first group is confronting those older men. Those men who are older than us with treat with respect as we would our own father. I understand that some of you did not grow up with a dad or that you dealt with and unkind and unloving father but irregardless of this those who are younger should show respect to those who are older. Here are several key verses to help us with this.
32 “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.
1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction,
and be attentive, that you may gain insight,
2 for I give you good precepts;
do not forsake my teaching.
3 When I was a son with my father,
tender, the only one in the sight of my mother,
4 he taught me and said to me,
“Let your heart hold fast my words;
keep my commandments, and live.
The same respect we show to those who we call our father we should show when rebuking and discipling those who are older than us and this is never easy nor do we look forward to this but there are times when this is necessary. Confronting sin with gentleness is the responsibility of all Christians.
2. The second groups that Paul lays out for us is to the younger men as brothers.
Again here in verse 1 we see this. Many of us in this room have brothers. For the most part we get along with our brothers and hang out with them and do things together. There are some who have never got along with their brother or sister and that is a sad thing. My point is that we typically treat our family different then those who might be a complete stranger because of how well we know each other and the background that we share in common. With that being said we are to treat those in the church family who are younger than us or even the same age as a brother. We are not better than them or more superior because we are all in this family together. Again there are several key verses to help us understand this text better. In the Old Testament we are given careful instructions about those who are close to us.
17 “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.
We also are reminded of how Joseph treated his very own brothers when they tried to kill him and sell him off into slavery. He showed them kindness and forgave their sin even those they intended it for evil God turned it around for good and to serve a good purpose.
When we come to the New Testament John lays out some serious warning for us.
9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.
What this shows us is that we are to love our brothers and even our brothers in Christ. When there may come times of rebuke these conversations should be done in love, kindness and with a sense of humbleness. I love you brother enough to come to you and have this conversation and in so doing it shows that you truly do care about others especially your brother.
3. A third group of people Paul lays out for us is older women as mothers. Look with me at verse 2.
2 To Timothy, my true child in the faith:
Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
Those older women that we know and are within the church should be treated as we would treat our own mom. So, let me begin by asking how is your relationship with your mother? Some of you may have lost a mom already or you may say my relationship with my mom was not that good. I understand that may be true however we should have a love and respect for our own mother. With that being said that is how we should treat older women.
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
22 Listen to your father who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.
In Philippians chapter 4 we see how Paul dealt with two women who were causing some trouble in the church.
1 Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.
2 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 3 Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Paul deals with this issue head on and responds in a kind a gracious manner. While he does have to get on to them as to agree in the Lord he includes them with his brothers whom he loves. Paul also talked about their service in the gospel together. What this shows us is that he treated them with respect and he would his own mother.
4. The last group of people Paul addresses here is the younger women as sisters, in all purity.
2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
When it comes to younger women in the church family we must treat them as sisters. We should also be careful that we do not lust after them in our hearts and minds. For this reason Paul talks about the phrase in all purity. There is nothing that makes or breaks a pastor or for that matter a man who is involved in sinful conduct with women. So, as we take time to meet with those who are younger than us and of the opposite sex we must be careful in our talk, conduct, thoughts, speech, actions, counsel. There may come times where younger women have to be confronted about sin and encouraged to live godly lives. They are to be treated as our spiritual sisters whose purity is in high regards. I would caution you to never take out a women by yourself. Never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. If you are meeting with someone or doing any kind of counsel or hard talk have someone else present or within listening earshot. Proverbs gives us a lot of wisdom concerning this matter.
25 Let not your heart turn aside to her ways;
do not stray into her paths,
26 for many a victim has she laid low,
and all her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol,
going down to the chambers of death.
In the church and in life there will come times where we deal with conflict and discipline. How we handle ourselves matter in a big time way. The correction process of each of these groups must be dealt with in a God honoring way. Paul’s instructions to Timothy send a clear message to all of us to seek the Lord for help and wisdom and to confront sin within the church.
Questions?
Close in Prayer.